Top Ten Secrets No One Knows About Allen

(written by my brother, Dave)

#10) Owns a million in GE stock

 #9) Wishes he was Stimpy

 #8) Knows Madonna's home phone number

 #7) Bald as a cue ball

 #6) While no one is looking he eats Hostess
     Snowballs like a man possessed

 #5) This fall he is getting his own TV
     talk show

 #4) Running for President in 2004

 #3) After hours, he and his pal Binky use
     the lab to create a virus to take
     over the world

 #2) Really married to Lisa Marie Presley

 #1) He's a clone!